In The Mind Of .harold™

.harold™ 9/9

2007-09-09T03:05:00.000-08:00

What's good folks? As for me, as usual things go down in the real life story of the Disposable Hero. haha In the current happenings of things...........

You know, I love haters because its an ego boost. My name always comes out of they mouth and all they can say is "Harold this and Harold that", its like I busted a nut in their mouth and they swallowed it all in. Thank you haters, I shall continue to pop my collar getting my swagger on. ;-) What I truly hate is a snitch / cock-blocker. These are the ones who can't ever mind their business but continue to ruin it all. I'm brining this to light as i know some bitch asses out there in the local scene having to not only cock-block, but snitch. I know you're always up on my shyt looking at what I have to say because I just can, buddy. You are supposedly a friend of mine and something's, yet you make a girly move behind my back to once again escalate a situation that wasn't even what your ass thinks. Between you and I, old friend, if it occurs again in ANY situation and I run into you somewhere I feel I don't give a shyt, I will mercilessly sub you and hold the fucking sub even after you can no longer take it. Mind your business and go to your bitch, or better yet, have her stick her finger up your ass and give you a Dirty Sanchez.

So yeah, I am back in the workforce and so far, I like it. My first day, I ended up of getting three digits from three random women. I guess with top notch customer service skills you attain from a place full of stuck-up or fake ass mother fuckers, you are paid undivided attention to the utmost when the skill is utilized with customers. Thank you Nordstrom. There is this chick who is on a rotation at a register area which is within my proximity and field of vision. Anyways, I can't say I caught her eyes, because the same coule be said on her part, but yeah, I'm not a firm believer of signs or whatever, but lets say that shyt happens, like, you had something that was "owned" and you felt it was yours because it came to you but the possession couldn't be yours because you just don't have enough power to keep it then when time flies, something out there that is very similair in almost every way appears right before you. In my case, it would seem a lot like that way. This chick has a baby, and she has a "boy", but it seems like she really dosen't give a shyt. To say the least, she ain't married. Its funny how you can get so much 411 without saying a thing or asking a thing. Anyhow, when I saw her the first time eye to eye from the distance, my area to her register, it really felt like a deja vu when I was at Starbuck's and something was walking by. But yeah, my good friend Ms. J actually thought she hella looked like something when Ms. J came thru to visit me. I've read past the lines and I observe all the details, I know for sure she knows whats up because I made it real obvious with mild non-verbal communication. Nothing steamy at all, just simplicity. Time to build a foundation up in there, baby! Oh, and she's a year under me. As for the three out there, i'll be making friends with them. I refuse to be an ass and not call them.

I finally decided to finally party it out lastnight, after a two month long hiatus of just staying home. Yeah, my presence was really noticed, it felt good. What didn't feel good was seeing some skanky whore fucking around when she should have been home taking care of two beautiful daughters. I think that moment became the epitome of my fear of marriage. Who knows, that whore's relatioship might be going stale or something, but I hope not, her husband is a good man and is a good father to his daughter and step-daughter..... As I was standing looking into the crowd, out of nowhere a beer bottle is flying right for my face, and thanks to my quick reflexes, I wasn't hit. For a second, I thought someone was trying to get at me but they missed hitting the guy they were going for and ended up of socking him and jumping him. Two guys to one beating a wasted dude. How dishonorable. Luckily the bottle didn't hit me. ....... There's this very kind old lady who works in the bar selling flowers. I give her props for being able to work in such harsh conditions for a senior citizen. Anyways, she walks up to a couple and kindly asks the man if he wanted to buy a rose for his girl, he abruptly goes "Get the fuck out of my sight old lady, shoo! Move along!" Things like that are one of the very few things that light my fuse, and at the point after seeing skanky whore, I was waiting to explode and see if he would say something harsh to me since I was standing there in shock. Yes, I am a huge prick, but never to the elderly, because they're people who deserve respect as they've paved the road for us and they deserve a break. One time, some guy shoved my grandfather and he slipped and fell on icy pavement. I wasn't there, but that shyt not only made me real angry, but it hurt me inside.

As far as this trip to California in November, I now highly doubt I will even make it, as it will only slow me down in my "huge" conquest and be a huge diversion. Speaking of huge conquest, I am really debating whether or not to work a second full time for like 3 months or so just to save up more money faster and get this dream fulfilled. I'll see to it. This dream means a lot to me, and it has to happen. I know I should be going with the family coz of the family reunion and one of my uncle's retirement party. Fuck!

August, baby!

2007-08-14T03:57:00.000-08:00

Well, well..... this is my first post for the month of August. I have a lot of shyt on my mind right now. First and foremost, before I start talking my shyt, I wanna send out my condolences to the Jaime family for the loss of Richard Jaime. Richard was someone I met at Tinguinha's and I got the chance to train with him. He was a really cool guy and pretty laid back, and he was a newfound friend. The last we spoke, which was about a week before he passed, he had stated to me that he took 3rd place at a tournament and was also promoted to blue belt. He is in a better place now.

Okay, this summer has been an up and down type of ordeal, but nonetheless, I can say I liked it, although I could have done more things, but from this point on to the end of the summer, I have a lot of time to do things with my sisters and other relatives like go hiking and do other shyt. As this summer comes to a fold, I must enjoy myself as the weather has been so California for the past week. Awesomeness. As of now, I have a lot of serious thinking to do as my parents have brought it up and discussed things with me. They're willing to pay for all my tuition if I take up courses in the P.I. Since my family has a huge connection base, I would probably end up in Manila's university. As crazy as this sounds of me, I would be in the medical field, aka Dr. Harold. I'm not going to say in what exact field, because a lot of mother fuckers will not believe it. But yeah, all I can say is, I do have interest in this certain field and I know it will land me some serious money. No, not a surgeon. The thing that holds me back the most is I would be gone from the United States for awhile and I would be away from my friends and family. Shyt, I dunno.

As far as the opposite sex goes....... about two weeks ago, I came in a bit late to the AFC afterparty and ran into my high school sweetheart. I approached her and acted like she was someone familiar and she looked so stoked to see me and "proved" to me it was her when she untied her hair to reveal her all-out beauty. OMG, she was still gorgeus in every way. Out of majority of my exes, she is one of the very few to not get fat, and on top of that she has two kids! Once again, she wanted to hang out and do things with me and like usual, I say "no". She was pretty mad. I'll be honest, she'll always be in Harold's heart, no matter what he has done in the past, which was fuck around left and right with other women including her friends and relatives when she was such a sweetheart. Yeah, it was me for her to turn into such a bitch, but when she's in my proximity, she's just so happy, and yeah, awhile back she has forgiven me and told me straight thru that she'll always love me. ;-) Ever since that night, she's been calling me from time to time and we end up having some great conversations. I don't know, but I can't get back with her, I just can't. Plus she has two kids. Eventually, we're going to end up hanging out and be great friends and stuff..... As far as Ms. Chica goes, she still has my jacket! I want it back! hahaha At this point, I don't know what's up as it was hard to demystify her as she was like one of the shyest girls I have ever come across and dated. Do I wanna make something happen? Shyt, we shall see what happens, after all, she still has my jacket. ;-)

Sometime this week, I'm going to get my schedule and fuck, it has taken forever to land this job, but I finally found out why. The man hiring me is about to have a child with his wife, and of course, your mind is everywhere when things like that happen, so that is understandable. I am really hoping that I get my time in the morning slot so I can train my jiu jitsu. If in fact I do get that particular time slot, not only will I be leaving back to the So in November, but I have decided that I will be representing Anchorage Brazilian Jiu Jitsu by myself and compete in a gi tournament in the white belt class. I just hope I get the ideal schedule, coz if so, from then on I'm going to have to go hard. It has been a thought running thru my mind for a bit now as I'm near yet far from getting my blue belt. I feel that I have to test myself before I get to the next level, and to me this is the best way.

In other news, it has been confirmed that AT&T has made the purchase of Cellular One and shall be making the full acquisition sometime in the winter. What does this mean for me? Well, I'm with T-Mobile but I'll be making the switch since my cousin who works for AT&T in the So has given me by way of express mail, an 8gb Apple iPhone. Yes, I have one still shrink-wrapped in the box waiting to be registered. hehe I can't wait. And Hell no, I will not be utiliyzing a 907 prefix, I will still have a So area code.

Until then folks, peace, love, and prosperity. One.

Something to Something

2007-07-23T14:07:00.000-08:00

Isn't it weird in life how you dispose of things and after awhile the something you disposed of ends up reappearing out of the blue? Its pretty interesting I must say. It could mean either bad or good ya know? In my case, it was good. Once again, "Something" reappears out of nowhere and starts interacting with me. It turned out to be pretty lengthy due to fact that there was a lot of catching up to do. It was cool seeing that "it" was alive and well and that "it" didn't forget about .harold™. Apparently, "Something" was NOT aware of my mission that I had accomplished in the So. Well, now "it" knows...... finally. Just my two cents.

Thursday's words of thought!

2007-07-12T21:27:00.000-08:00

Man oh man, I truly feel so rejuvenated ever since I put the "bad toxins" to the side and looked at the mirror and got real pissed at myself as I wasn't losing but gaining weight again. I came pretty far and I didn't wanna go back to step zero so I made it clear to myself that I had to do something about it. On top of everything else, two weeks ago, which was the last time I went out, I was so fucking wasted and the next day, my kidneys were feeling like they were giving in and mentally I felt like shutting the fuck down, and that was my call. Shyt. After gallons of water a day and doing my cardio-specific drills and workouts, I feel that I have taken out the bad shyt. Fuck, whenever I spray cologne or gargle Listerine, I have this psychosomatic effect with the alcohol.

Okay, now as far as my day, I was supposed to hang with Ms. Chica and watch Transformers, but that didn't subside to any substance. I'm wondering, could this be the first time I got turned down like this the last minute and get dissed? I actually haven't got turned down like this in terms of asking out and scheduling then on the day you are notified only to find out they can't make it over the PHONE via-text message. I started laughing on the inside and was like "Oh shyt, this finally happened to me." I don't know whether to take it as a slap on the face or just re-schedule. Like I said, only time will tell.

Finally, for the first time in a damn month, I finally got to come to a class involving the gi and I felt great. Before class, I was in my own little world stretching out while listening to some Hatebreed and Slipknot on my iPod, getting pumped up. In the end, conditioning-wise, it was creeping up to me and I was out of it when all was over. To my surprise, I was holding my own and I was grateful to roll with the boys once again. Friday as in tomorrow is going to be fucking intense as Ryder will be running the show. He teaches well and is in this serious train of thought as opposed to when he's the pupil. I'm impressed and grateful. Of course, when I got to roll with him, I got got my ass handed to me in many ways more than a prostitute handling several pimps pimp-slapping her. In the end, I had a huge grin on my face. haha If there is something I have to control, its my emotions at times. I was so emotionally pumped that it got the best of me and drained me out somewhat. Give me some of that shyt they inject on those KGB government agents.

As far as I see things the way they are right now, it looks like I'm back to training on the regular. I'm hungry for my fourth stripe and I'm seeking to get my blue-belt in the near future..........

There is this stunt I have in mind of pulling off at work, and it involves the mind-set. I so want to do it and eventually it will happen. Its fucking crazy, and lets just say that its similar to riding a skateboard.... only going at a higher degree of speed and having to do certain things to get to it in the position. After my god-brother said he knows of other flips that are crazy, it made me feel like now I have to prove I'm on another level in multiplicative ways in the "extreme scene". Remember, I'm the Disposable Hero, mother fucker.

.harold™ home on a Saturday night? WTF?

2007-07-07T23:57:00.000-08:00

What's good everybody? Anyways, yeah, like the title states, I am actually sitting at home relaxing for once. Kinda odd for me to be home on the weekend. Even yesterday, (Friday) I decided to stay at home and not even bother going out to the after party. Iono, I just decided out of the blue that I'm taking a break until further notice.

So I finally got to spend some time with Ms. Chica, and damn, I know we were both nervous, but overall it was good getting to know each other, with such randomness at will. haha She seems really sweet and I can admire that..... The whole plan was to meet up at a public place to go and eat lunch at 4pm. As always, I always come late but I'm always at the under 10 minutes late rule. I was like "Oh Shyt, I think I might have stood her up" and as I was about to walk out who comes up the stairs? Ms. Chica. She was looking really gorgeous and I let her know that and she let me know about me as well. How cool. We ate lunch and talked the whole time and ended up of hanging out walking together at the public spot for about 2 hours. Afterwards, I dropped my ride somewhere and hopped in with her and we head out to the AFC fights to spectate. As always, either I ran into people or people ran into me just chatting it up, I was trying to end the convo's as soon as I could coz I didn't wanna leave Ms. Chica hanging like that, ya know? If there is one mistake I know I made, its the fact that I'm a known party-goer that downs Jager and gets down and that was known not just out of my mouth but from other people talking about the after-party and me going. I'm sure she's thinking things. After the whole AFC show, I get dropped off and we park next to my vehicle, from there a lot was running in my head in terms of what to do. I so wanted to be sincere, but so many butterflies were flying so I just stepped out and greeted her farewell. Only time will tell what happens, and me always putting my feet in the water, either i step out to dry out or stay in and get deeply submerged..... Those eyes, I swear........

The other day, my ass got pulled over finally for the expired tags and shyt. I got pulled over by an Asian cop and I felt like I was going to get some leeway, which I did, but still got a huge fine which in turns leads to earlier today since if I was to get my I/M and vehicle registered and went to court, my charges would be dropped. Okay, so I drive to a testing facility and wait there for a good fucking 45 minutes. I literally passed on everything except one thing, the engine was idling too "high". Luckily it was a no pass, no pay deal. That kinda put my hopes down, so I decided to go to another spot and they tell me I had to pay regardless, so I left then finally came to the spot where I would "pass". I was there for a good 20 minutes or so and towards the end, I get some other bullshyt, and at this point I wasn't going to give in and falter. I stated to the tester "Young man, before I came here I went through two other facilities each telling me different sides of a bullshyt story, so that is saying something is not right with the people I am dealing with. Do YOU have any idea as to who I am?" (I always say this for the simple fact that this city is a small world) The young tester goes "No sir, and I don't think I want to...... you passed sir." then I thanked him and paid for the bill which came out to $185. Shyt. At least so far I have saved up just under a grand towards my GSX-R 750.

I'm going to sit back and watch Transformer now, so peace, love, and prosperity. One.

Thank You

2007-06-30T04:45:00.000-08:00

As of late, I been making moves in every way possible. Its like I can make things happen however I want. I can't explain it man, I just feel so pumped up abou tlife right now, the possibilities are truly endless. I'm really thankful for everything I have gained as knowledge is power. What could I do without the skillset.

I'm not going to get into detail unless you ask me, but all I'll say is that I almost got fired for choking a mother fucker out and making them almost go to sleep at work. I got to talk to the boss of my workplace and shyt, he was a pretty cool guy and actually thought it was funny what I did, the big thing was the fact that the bitch ass who was baing a fucking baby that even had his wife involved, almmost went to the hospital. He claimed that he was coughing up blood, his throat, chin, and 'brain' (if he even has one) were hurting. All in all, it was just a verbal warning. I have no respect towards people who make such bitch moves. Of course I can totally still work and function the same work operation with him around, but outside of work, its totally going to be different. I feel sorry for his wife if her husband runs into me at a social setting.

Missing out on training has been really bad man, and work has been killing me, I'm hoping to switch to the dayshift sometime in the near future, because I want my blue belt, and I want to debut in the AFC already....... Sean Hendrick, teammate, peer, friend has left the 907. He will be missed as he was probably the funniest dude around. We took a group photo all together in glory. haha I just wished he could have given me the Jager machine....... Since I haven't really gotten the chance to train on a regular basis, i basically been a couch quarterback watching a shytload of BJ Penn videos over and over and reading his book like a Christian reading a bible. What can I say? I feel I'm one of his biggest fans if not the biggest out there.

Okay, so I'm finally getting to know Ms. Chica and she seems pretty cool. We actually know some of the same people out there, I think its a trip that I know her older sister and brother. I never been in a situation where I dated or went out with a friend's sister, so this will be interesting if it goes down. So yeah, if you're wondering, I did ask her out and we should be hanging out in the very near future as our schedules don't reciprocate to each other. One thing I forgot is that next week is the whole 4th of July thing, meaning I'm so going to get really fucking wasted. Who knows, I might bring a bottle of Jager with me to work.

The other day, before I went to work, I hopped on a friend's Suzuki GSX-R 600 and took it for a test ride. As soon as I took off on my street I lifted it up into the air and busted out a wheelie. I felt like a million dollars as I haven't rode on a motorcycle in like 2-3 years. I learned how to ride really quickly from a friend, Jon Shely, and within 10 minutes that day, I was already doing wheelies. Must be a sign that I'm probably a stunt riding prodigy. hahaha That same day, upon getting to work, I see another Suzuki GSX-R600 parked at the parking lot. I sat on it, and I wanted to ride again, but the helmet of my co-worker's wouldn't fit me.

It has been a long time since I got any ink done, but as of now, I have three projects in the works, with the first being Aaron's memorial on my left shin. The next two will be a crazy islander tribal mask on my right shin and then the next piece will surely be the life-changing one, which will be a sleeve on my whole right arm. I kinda figured what I want and it will be inspired by one of my mentor's sleeve. After seeing his all the time in class, I started to fiend real bad to a point where I feel like a crackhead with their crack. Its going to take some time. Shyt.

.harold™ with words coming straight out

2007-06-20T04:22:00.000-08:00

First off, as some of you may know, someone real close within family ties has passed away. I would like to say a few words before I go on to other things..... Last week, I did my first eulogy and it was extremely tough to stand still and read what I had to say about Aaron, being in front of many people is nothing as I always am, but having emotions break loose over someone you love so dearly is hard. I was shaking the whole time, but I knew in my heart I had to finish what I had to say as it was important to me. As much as the baby momma and I don't get along, I'm totally relieved and glad she actually showed up to pay her respects. If she wasn't there and I found out she knew, I would have been real "not-so-happy". Anyways, I know he is somewhere in a better place right now probably watching me type this. haha

Overall, I been doing pretty good, just been working and seemingly and so unlikely of me, I'm actually pumped up to get my ass to work. My job is absolutely hyphy. Just the other day I was off, I came by out of my own will and decided to clock in and work 4 hours. Being in an environment where I get to absolutely put the .harold™ mentality to "good" use, unlike other places I have worked for. I definately ain't dealing with fake mother fuckers like from Nordstrom and I certainly don't have to be forced into being a fake ass. As far as the .harold™ factor goes, so far shyt that I have pulled off..... I brought my skateboard into the airport rental lobby and road accross the place. Nothing happened. I walked into the airport with a bottle of beer and drank it in front of everybody. Nothing happened. I wonder whats next. I know I'll be working on the 4th of July, and imagine what happens when you put .harold™ and Jager together. Its on.

Back to the lady who works for a different company...... I've spoken to longtime friend "B" and a new friend Ms. Catherine, and being in a professional environment, I let them know what is up and hopefully they put in something good for me, especially in "B's" case as she's always been great with me. Earlier I kept on seeing Ms. Chica, and she'd crack a smile sometimes and look at "B". At first, I thought "B" was trying to embarrass me or say some bullshyt, so I called her up and asked towards the end of her shift as Ms. Chica wasn't around. "B" wasn't making fun of me, but Ms. Chica now knows not just of me but who I am.

You know what? I woke up one day and decided that I'm going to get a bike. I'm determined more than ever to accomplish one of my dreams and I wanna pay that shyt off right then and there. Watching a lot of my stunt videos gets me real amped up imagining as to what I'll be doing. 2008 ain't ready fool!

I'll finally be coming back to train for the first time in like 2 weeks or so, and I'm probably going to have a little rust, but shyt, thats what happens, yeah? Speaking of training, I just wanna step out of the vehicle and pull out one of those Doller-Rent-A-Car guys and slam them to the curb, like go for a double-leg takedown and slam their ass. Don't ask me why.

Well, that's all folks, much love to ya'll and keep it hyphy. One.

.harold™ finally lands a job, SAY WHAT!?

2007-06-10T03:56:00.000-08:00

What is good ladies and gentlemen? Anyways, I been gone for awhile as I "don't" have anything worth mentioning. Anyways, so yeah, as the title states, it is true, I am finally working. For once, I am enjoying my job as its pretty cool and I get to drive all over the place. The only thing that really fucking felatiates vaginas is my schedule impedes a high percentage of my training. At least I'll be buying two 5x10 mats and be staying in shape to keep up with the times. Shyt. Anyways, my biggest goal since finally landing the job is to save up and pay off on a high end motorcycle....... Before I go on, I just wanna state that my dearly beloved cousin Aaron is currently in the hospital and is in a coma due to a serious accident on a motorcycle. Fucking 19-year old prick that ran the stop sigh and hit him...... that is all I am going to say, it really hurts me a lot. I love him to death, man, and I only hope for the best that he recovers and is able to walk and other stuff...... okay, barely any relatives know my objective for next year is to get myself the motorcycle I desrire and deserve finally. I know that if they found out, they will flip. People wonder why I'm still going for it even after what has happened to Aaron, well, I dunno. I'm just fucking crazy and always have been an avid adrenaline junkie. Will I be going fast? You bet your ass.

Anyways, recently I started hanging out with this cool cat whom I work with and started the same day. He looks like a whitey ford but is Columbian. hahaha Its funny how we have a lot in common in terms of who we know and shyt. Speaking of working together, apparently, we, as a group or team have beef with another company. Persoanlly, I think it is funny, because everytime they see us, they mad-dog us. At first, I was wondering what the fuck, but then my group of peers told me. I smile everyday I see them because they just don't know who they are looking at. I feel sorry for them if one of them try to cut me off. Really.

I wanna congratulate my teammate/classmate Doug Evans on making it to the Ultimate Fighting Championship. In two weeks, he'll be fight Roger Huerta on live television on Spike TV, the Ultimate Fighter season finale, the one with my idol BJ Penn fighting Jens Pulver.

Around the workplace, there's this girl who works for a different company called "Avis", and when she caught my eyes with hers, the earth stood still, and those gleaming eyes were connected to mine for several seconds more than "acceptable". Each day that I would see her at the desk, omg, she would directly look me in my eyes and I would almost stop what ever I'm doing, even when she's dealing with a customer i catch the eyes. I dunno what she is, but from my educated guess, she looks half white and half thai. Like I always say, the eyes always gets me. Behind her eyes each time we visually connect, there is a mystery I just have to unlock. I'm just waiting for a "clear" day for when it isn't busy, then I'm going for the kill and say fuck it. We shall see what happens folks. For right now, I just want to take her out and see what she's like and I'll go on from there for the assessment. Aiight folks, no more shyt to write, but til then, peace, love, and prosperity. One.

"Thanks For The Memories"

2007-05-24T23:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I posted a video by Fall Out Boy depicting situations in terms of easiness as in one night stands and so forth. Anyways, apparently, I got several calls from females from the past asking if I was directing it towards them. hahaha WTF I asked everybody the same thing.... "So you mean to tell me you were easy if you were offended?" In no way am I aiming at a specific someone but more like several people who were effortless. Don't get it twisted to all of you who were important in my life at one point. One love.

Finally.........

2007-05-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, so its been kind of awhile since I last posted anything. I had a great time while I was back in SoCal and now that my ass is back in Anchorage, I do what I can to make the best of it. As of late, I just been training and reading a lot. I started hitting up Flat Top mountain and shyt, I gotta tell you, for the first two sessions of my runs, I always thought Flat Top was this flat hill when it turns out to be the mountain behind. I thought it was funny and I ended up of getting flamed for it, but hey, at least I did something and got some criticism as I'm seeking the realness rather than the bullshyt.

I ran early today in the morning and ended up of meeting with my mentor Justin, of course I was dealing with a seasoned runner of this Flat Top place and I knew I would get passed up. It was shytty looking outside today and fuck, the past couple of days have been pretty but cold for me. Speaking of cold, yeah, my body still has yet to get adjusted to the Alaska weather. I been typically wearing a wife beater, a tee and a hoody as a whole layering system. I'm that cold. Usually, I can take it, but not now.

Hey, Christine Guzman, I know you are or will be reading this, I just wanna say hello to you and that I ain't forgotten about you. hahaha ....... Okay, I was planning on leaving back to SoCal in August with my dear friend Mae and Kai. That planned is scrap for two reasons, numero uno, I got jacked on my tax refund and numero dos, I'll be back to SoCal in November. Its to celebrate my uncle's retirement from the US Marine Corps. I'll also be transporting some of my shyt over there since I'm going to be mmoving there in the near future. I'm just waiting for my little sister to finish her shyt, while in the meantime I'll start working sometime soon and save some money for my way of transportation, which will be a sportbike fit to my taste. I cannot wait.

While I was back home for the two weeks I sat and thought real hard and its come down to my committment of not being in Alaska. It was highly noticeable that I was really happy and always had a smile on my face subconsiously whereas back in AK, I'm not all that stoked about anything at all but training and people within my circle. In pursuit of happiness baby! You know, in all honesty, I am glad things turned out the way it did for me, because had that false alarm became into reality, I would have been fucked and stuck in the gutter for the next 18 years, if you all know what I mean. There is so much things that the Golden State offers me and I just thought about how much shyt I could easily pull off as I have tested myself there in certain scenarios. ;-) For the time being, at least til I get back home, I'm opting to stay single as no one is really on the level, it will only impede my steps. Fuck, come to think of it, after my episodes in SoCal, I honestly don't think I'll be committed into marriage...... unless I'm totally in awe, which isn't common. Aside from other things, I have made a connection base in California, which is a good thing.

The first couple of days I was back, I was pretty angry and having mood swings, man. But I'm cool now. When I got off the plane, the first thing I noticed was the sky covered in clouds and how cold I was. lol When people finally saw me, they all noticed I got toasted like a mother fucker. hahaha I'm not dark enough, and now that I have a symetrical tan, I'll be maintaining like once or twice a month.

TIl then, peace, love, and prosperity. One.

P.S. - Call me a Playstation, coz I'm the game and I play, mother fucker!

Wholly Shyt!

2007-05-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

Today, I went tanning for the 4th straight day and this time, I got burned pretty bad like my whole front side. I am not only dark, but I am really red as well. hahaha I feel like I just got a tattoo on my whole body. Kinda feels good and bad at the same time.

Anyways, I went to facility at Team Quest to spend my last days and all. I came in the afternoon just go get Jerry a couple of fight shorts and a hoody. As I'm about to make the transaction with plastic, I turn and I see MMA pro fighters Thierry Ramen Sokoudjou, Sam Stout, Alex Shonouer, and one of my idols JASON "MAYHEM" MILLER. I was pretty much silent in awe being only a few feet away from one of my idols. I was literally shaking out of nervousness, man. I got some daps and talked for a lil bit and to top things off, took pictures with all of them. When I first spoke to him, I go "Wholly shyt dude, you're like one of my fucking idols!" and he goes with his crazy personality "Nah dude, you're my idol!" It was an honor, and this pretty much topped everything in my trip. Tomorrow is going to be crazy as well as Bas Rutten is going to be visiting the facility in the morning. I'm definately going to be there to take more pics and get a chance to meet "El Guapo" himself. Fuck yeah! I feel pretty bummed out of leaving, training with Quest was a sweet experience and all my peers were real cool people to the fullest. I'll be back, and more than likely, I'll be out of the 907 Hell Hole and be living in So Cal. ;-) When I get back to 907, I'll be posting a bunch of pics on my page from my get away. hehe

TIl then, adios amigos.

May 3rd, 2007

2007-05-03T23:23:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies and gentlmen. Today was a pretty chill day, ya know? I woke up at about 10am which made my ass late to train with Team Quest, by then, I said "Fuck it" and decided to take a break for a full day from training since I was burned out from over-training.

I went and hit up a Wal-Mart to get myself some tanning lotion then went and drove out to Oceanside and hit up the beach city. I stayed there for a good two hours to get a tan since I feel pale. Apparently, to my fellow peers out here in SoCal, I'm tan enough, but to people in the AK I am pale. WTF? hahaha I laid down on the beach for about a good 90 minutes. I got tanned a lil but my midsection, which was the palest of all turned red. I have that caucasion effect for now I guess but I'm going again tomorrow damn it. I got up to draw some messages on the sand to take pictures then I went towards the ocean to run around the waves. Well, one little know thing is that I'm afraid of the ocean, I think its because I freak out when I'm surrounded by a large body of water only. As the waves are hitting me I start running back to shore. LOL I was running around in my spandex fight shorts and a wifebeater tee. I went back and "fought" the waves. It wasn't so bad. I still wanna find a huge rock and jump off into the ocean. The whole time, I noticed that this woman kept looking at me, she was with a kid, and I thought it was like her liittle bro and all. I decided to act stupid and "test" her to see how she would react when I purposely emptied a shopping bag and the wind let it loose towards her. I started to run towards the bag as it was going towards her, and the thing goes past her and I see her giggling and shyt. When I finally got a hold of it, I started walking by her and she's chuckling and I go "Hello." with a smile. I get a smile back with a hello as well. I told her I was from Alaska, and like every other girl I been coming to contact with, they're all freaking out with a smile like whoa. To cut things short, I end up not following thru, because I just didn't feel like it. I don't know why, man. She was pretty and had a curvacious body, but I didn't feel like following thru. I end up of giving her my e-mail to hit me on MySpace. lol

I get a call from my cousin to meet up with her and her friends and we end up going to a ballpark, and next thing you know, I'm playing baseball for the first time in a long time. It was fun, my first at bat, I was struck out but the next 3 times I hit that son of a bitch pass the fences like back in the day. I guess I still have it.... After baseball, I took my cousin's friend Daren's Nissan 350Z. I took that son of a bitch to the backroads and demonstrated some real skills that I learned back in proffessional driving school. I was killing hairpins but had to be careful as many people kept driving on the other side. I at least took it to 90mph and 123mph on the highway. I had to cut things short as my boys from training wanted to kick it. We ended up of skateboarding around the beach somewhere in San Diego discussing techniques, the future, and what our plans are in BJJ and MMA. Only time will tell what happens, man. It was cool being able to hang out with people I just met not long ago and be able to connect like a broadband connection. I'm invited to chill with their familes and head to Disneyland or some get together on Sunday, I'm ecstatic. I don't wanna leave, I belong in SoCal, or should I say Cal-if-orn-I-A for that matter?

I can't wait tomorrw, as in Friday. I'm going to watch Spiderman 3 with my date that I met at one of the training facilities, I'm sure its going to be a good experience to hang out. I'm anticipating this movie to be bad ass to the fullest. Its going to be a start of a summer blockbuster year. You know what? I haven't played Guitar Hero for awhile, I think I'm going to hit up Best Buy and see if I can start a crowd. hahaha

Well, I have to get to bed as I have training early in the morning. Aiight folks, peace, love, and prosperity.

SoCal baby

2007-05-01T12:41:00.000-08:00

What's good folks? As of late, I been really busy doing my thing enjoying life at the moment. I been partying, chilling with cool folks that are new in my life, having dates, and on top of everything I been training A LOT of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at Tinguinha's academy and at Team Quest. I'll start my MMA training tomorrow. I really don't have much to say, well more like I don't wanna elaborate on things.

Training has been really great man, I'm a sponge that is absorbing a lot throughout the process. A lot of the people I been training with are really great people and charismatic, like back in 907. Hella fun. I got to roll with Vinicius Magalhaes, a 3-time world champion in BJJ, it was an honor, no doubt. Funny thing is, he's only 22 and younger than me.

Last Sunday, I did something out of the ordinary and in the end, it ended up the way I expected it to be. Iono if something found out yet, but if not yet, then sooner or later..... There's people who go out and buy "teddy bears", then there are people who fly 3000 miles and drive 63 miles just to say some things face to face with great people. The one who flies 3000 miles and drives 63 miles is someone who isn't playing around and is for real. ;-)

I been thinking really deeply since being here and I don't wanna be in 907 much longer. I think I'll be coming back here for good this time in the near future. The only major cons to me is gas prices and fucking traffic, other than that, not too bad. Give me a motorcycle, and I'm good to go. My plan is this. My sister, myself, and Jerry, since he's getting a divorce and all. Only time will tell my friend.....

One love.

The Return To Cali-4rn-I-A

2007-04-27T22:40:00.000-08:00

Salutations to everybody out there viewing what I have to say out of the blue. Anyways, as I am sitting in my aunt's office typing this up, I'm contemplating about how great it feels to be back home. As of this typing, I'm just chilling in my aunt's house in Laguna Beach. I arrived earlier today from Seattle....

On Thursday evening, my father dropped me off at the academy and I had Jerry and Jacelyn and Mark drop me at the airport. I flew to Seattle and was there from about 2am someting up until 10am something. I got to chill with a friend that I met on MySpace and it was really sweet hanging out with her. We went to go eat out then went to her place to talk and share a lot of things on a communication level.

As I arrived in Ontario International Airport, I was a bit chilly, only because of my lack of movement and all, but after 5 minutes, I was scorching. After getting my checked-in luggage, I waited about a good 20 minutes til my aunt and uncle arrived. For the time being, I was seeing the locales there, and man, I never smiled so much involuntarily in such a while face to face. I was stoked. I met this lady who works for Alama, her name was Kristina and I ended up of getting her number so that we could kick it tomorrow as in Saturday. hehe I never cease to amaze when I'm out of town.... Finally I get a call to come out and my aunt and uncle arrive in seperate cars, I was like "WTF!?" My aunt gets out of her S500 and says "You're my nephew and I want you to cruise around California with class" and I end up taking the Mercedes and popped in my burned CD and went straight to the track "I'm A FLirt" and put my shades on and dipped out while using the GPS navi. I was on the highway and drove out to Laguna Beach for a duration of about 45 minutes or so.

As I enter the house, I was literally in heaven, man. So huge that I could prolly lock myself in for good without any deprevation of any sort. I dropped my stuff to my room then dipped out and drove all over the place. What was really funny was that I was like, the only pacific islander / asian in Laguna Beach literally. Interesting indeed. I went to Murrieta to locate the Team Quest facility, because that is where I'll be training for a week. The next couple of weeks that I'm here, I'll be training at Team Quest, Tinguinha's BJJ, and hopefully drive down to San Jose and train and get private lessons with Dave Camarillo. Later on, I'm getting up early to drive out to Anaheim to train at Tinguinha's academy, I can't wait. This is what I left for, and I'm going to see how I fare against Cali cats.

That is all for now folks, I'm about to head out to meet up with some people. One love.

We Be Chillin

2007-04-22T06:40:00.000-08:00

As I'm bumping some James Blunt typing my thoughts for the day of Saturday, my ass is somewhat tiresome. "Today", I finally recieved my Blackberry Pearl 8100 and I was so stoked. In fact, I was so stoked that after plugging it in the charger, I was asked by my family that came to visit if I wanted to go for a long drive to Seward, instead I opted to just give my little sisters a ride to work. hehe

After my Blackberry was charged, since I wasn't able to hit up the seminar, I went out instead and hit up Barnes & Noble for a bit. I saw the cover of the latest Black Belt magazine and saw that my twin BJ was on the cover! I was so stoked I ended up of getting two copies. I said "Fuck this" and went straight to the register. When it was my turn to be called on in line, this cute employee who must be new (since I never seen her and I'm always there) scanned my two magazines, she looked at the cover then back at me then back at the cover and was like "Uh, is that you on the cover if you don't mind me asking?" with smile. I smiled and went "Nah, he's an idol" then she goes "Oh, wow, you two look alike." That right there made my day, baby. ;-)

I went to the academy after B&N and chilled in the parking lot for a bit waiting for it to be over, because I had to pay my buddy some skrilla. When I walked in, Ryder goes "You should just quit and turn around then kill yourself". hahaha I don't know why I "had" to be at the seminar, for one, it is my decision, and secondly, I'll be going to Tinguinha's academy. I have pretty much decided that at least once a year, I'd travel to train at another school for like two weeks. If I was elsewhere like back in Cal, I would be jumping to a new school after each belt promotion. I consider myself the forever student, because no matter what, I'll always be learning something in jujitsu to up my ante in the game and knowledge. I've stated to my dad that after I get my blue belt, I seriously wanna go to the Philliphines finally, specifically in Manila to pay some academies a visit to see where I stand against my own people. in 2008, I'm expecting to head to Hawaii to specifically train at BJ Penn's academy and have the dream opportunity to train with BJ himself. Dedication.

I went to chill with Mae at her work as usual. I got an IM from Jerry and ended up of heading home and uploading his damn videos onto a flash drive and also get ready for the club as we might go, which we did. We watched UFC 70 and as some of you may know, the huge shocker was when Cro Cop got knocked the fuck out literally. Personally, I wasn't too shocked as 2007 has been the year of shockers thus far in the world of MMA. We end up going out since Michelle (Jerry's sis) wanted to babysit Baby. We picked up Jacelyn. As always on a Saturday, we hit up Platinum Jaxx with the V.I.P treatment. hehe It was pretty cool, at least for the 907 scene and all. A lot of great things were happening with me that I shall not be elaborating on. hehehe

After dropping off JC, we end up hitting up Burger King and head back to his crib. Waiting at the drive-thru seemed forever man, but it was cool, we just chilled there talking the good times...... One love.

April 20th

2007-04-21T01:46:00.000-08:00

What it is dunny'z!? "Today" was a pretty cool Friday. I went out with my dad and my uncles out to the shooting range in Potters Creek which is down the street where I'll probably be moving back to pretty soon. I got to shoot my Glock and with the mod I placed in it, it was shooting pretty smoothly. For like 15 we're shooting at regular targets then out of the blue, I pulled out the custom-made targets of someone's head and placed it on the target holder. My dad was like "WTF?" and was wondering who it was, I just said "some bitch who ain't shit, Dad." I had a 5 of them and went thru them all and on one of them I was trying to hit each eye, the mouth,and nose. I was very close, I just fucked it up when I hit it to the side of the eye. I think my dad kinda figured who's face I was shooting at. hahaha

I got to kick it with Jen and Lin for a bit and we hit up Dimond coz they needed to get some shyt for some party or whatever. As for me, I ended up of going to Best Buy and playing Guitar Hero for the next 50 minutes. I swear, that game is so addicting, and I haven't dealt with a game this addicting in such a long ass time since Tekken. When I feel that I'm good, that is when I'll be stepping it up on X Box Live and playing fools on-line. Speaking of on-line, Forza 2 the racing game is coming out real soon. It'll be on and I'm seeking to take over, well, at least be placed in the top 10 in the U.S. After Guitar Hero, I went ahead and looked at all the high definition televisions on display. I'm probably going to get one sometime next month or so, if not then in the fall. I really want a 1080p type though, but the lowest price they have is $2200. I like that Phillips with the Ambilight™ technology, like, when you're watching a movie, on the side of the TV, there are LED lights that interpret the movie's color, so if you're watching a scene where it is showing the sky, the sides of the TV will emit blue. THey have it in 50 inch for like $2700. We'll see.

Training was pretty great today. Tinguinha arrived and taught in our academy, since we're affiliated under him and all. He'll be doing a seminar later on today, and more than likely, my ass isn't showing up, which is kind of a drag, but the cool thing is, I let him know I'll be visiting his school in the near future. Not only am I going to train in the regular class, but I'm given the opportunity to train in the advanced class. How fucking sweet.

Today is Saturday, I think I have some errands to pull off, just to get shyt out of the way, since the day is near. *sighs* I don't know whats in store for today, as I know my ass isn't going out tonight. My thumb is still kinda fucked and it hurts when I bend it back still, not a good thing. In a way, its made me use more tools in my ground game since I lack much grip with my right hand from the thumb injury. One.

April 19th

2007-04-20T02:13:00.000-08:00

What's good folks? "today" was a pretty swell day actually. Before I did anything, I went ahead and played Guitar Hero 2 for about an hour. I'm progressing and getting better each day at an alarming rate. Talk about being a prodigy.... I decided in my mind that I wanted to be a skateboarder even though I really don't know jack shyt. I went outside the house and grabbed my little cousin's board and rode on it, and to my surprise, it felt natural the first time around and after the 1st attempt, I was doing an olie. Awesomeness. I think its because of my experience with snowboarding. I'll be skateboarding some more later on.

Today, I decided to start my high altitude training. I had my little sister drive me to Gravity Hill and from there, I gave her the option to wait up at the Flat Top parking lot, which she opted to do. From where I got dropped, I jogged up my way down the road to the parking lot. I noticed it felt a lot different from running up a hill at regular altitude. It felt great because I had to push and overall, I felt good, but now my legs are sore. When I trained today, I seriously felt like I could go on for as long as I wanted to. That was awesome.

You know whats fucked up that ended up of becoming a joke around? Ryder stated to me that I remind him of that fucker Cho Seung-Hui, the Korean killer. In many ways like how I have a pic of me holding my Glock looking like a classy assasinator. lol After getting home, I told Lin and she thought the same. Just for that, I'm going to do something that will crack people up who know what is up, but I'm sure it is so going to offend a lot of people out there that aren't in the know.

It is officially Friday, there are two things that I am hoping arrive on my doorstep. First thing is UPS knockinng on my door delivering me my WHITE Blackberry Pearl 8100. Secondly, the highly anticipated pre-ordered book that I been so wetting my pants over: MMA - The Book Of Knowledge by BJ Penn. Fuck, when that book arrives, my ass will drive out of town and into my thinking spot and read all day. I am that stoked, dude.

I got a call earlier from The Academy Of Art in San Francisco telling me a lot of good things and if I was interested in going to their school. I told them I may visit one of these days to tour the place. Shyt, it would be a fresh start staying in San Francisco in my pursuit of possibly becoming a graphic designer. Fuck, DEA agent, graphic designer, professional driver, gynecologist, IT specialist, fashion designer, cage fighter, pro snowboarder, producer, writer/journalist. I can easily fall into one category by applying all out dedication, but I just don't have the motivation, I totally suffer from R.K.S if you ask me. On top of things, it would impede a lot of committments like jiu jitsu, partying, relationships, etc.

Today is Friday, I'm going to go target practicing and shoot at my custom made "head" targets. hehe ;-)

April 18th

2007-04-19T03:01:00.000-08:00

Fuck, Wednsday was a fucking time consuming day, man. I didn't even get the chance to train. In the end, it paid off. For basically my whole day, I was at my parent's house in my old room cleaning it out with the help of my littlest sister. So much shyt had to be place elsewhere, had to clean out the excess shyt I didn't need in it, and so forth. This was done to cater to my family that was coming today. While I'm typing this damn blog, I'm simultaneusly watching a Marcelo Garcia "Taking The Back" dvd instructional. haha Thats whats tight about having dual screens man. Anyways, when all was done, I head out to the airport to pick them all up in two vehicles. It was good to see everybody. Everybody noticed that I've dropped a lot of weight since the last time, but shyt, I still feel big and I'm working my way. After loading up the boxes and luggage, I figured I wouldn't fit, so I end up calling Mae and luckily she was driving around the city and she came and got me. I was chilling at the airport for a good 45 or so just walking around and exploring the place and asking questions at the car rental area.

I been back on track with graphic designing and all, just messing with a lot of abstract shyt and digitally manipulating photography as usual. LMAO, since I'm going to be target practicing with my dad on Friday, I took some bitch asses' face and blew it up and Photo Shopped it and cropped just his head and made a target out of it. Hey, its illegal to kill people, but it ain't illegal to print out some bitch asses' face and shoot at it. I'm pretty sure eveyrbody who sees my custom made targets are going to get a big kick out of it. LMAO I wonder what my dad is going to think. This will be the first time I finally get to shoot my Glock. How exilerating.

Speaking of Photoshop, CS3 is coming real soon and I want to get my hands on it. The problem is its going to be bad ass and its more than likely optimized for Intel-based Macs. Shyt, I think I'll just get a new computer and this time a desktop. I want that high end Mac desktop, as it is the world's fastest computer at the moment running several processors.

I just started my weight cutting regimen and so far so good. My only gripe is that the stuff makes me feel kinda dizzy and halucenagenic, its prolly since it is my first time.

April 17th

2007-04-18T07:43:00.001-08:00

Okay, so anyways, I filed my taxes at the last minute/day (infamously so) and come to find out, my ass is getting a pretty sweet refund. I cannnot wait to recieve some skrilla. The thing on my mind right now is a 50-52 inch 1080p high definition plasma television.

During the early day, I recieved a PM from someone inviting me to subscribe to their blog posts. Well, after accepting, it took me to their latest post. Now, iono if its just a coincidence or it was to tell me something and give me some kind of "message". Personally, I thought it was just a coincidence. I'll find out sooner or later, but I removed myself from the subscription just to keep things on the safe side. You know who you are. ;-)

I went to Best Buy towards the evening because my ass was bored and I felt like showing off with Guitar Hero 2. Whats funny is that I have the game in my room to play all day long, but I wanted to get that exposure feeling. As arrive to the Guitar Hero 2 stand, there's this dude playing and after he was done, I end up taking it and there was three spectators just watching before I even came into the mix. For the next 20 minutes, we're taking turns and suddenly throughout a gathering starts building up, it was the shyt. Pressure was building up from within and I could not make a mistake in front of these people, plus there was a hot asian chick watching. There had to be at least 20 or so watching.

As usual, I make my stroll to Dimond Wal Mart to chill with Mae. I run into my buddy Mark and he was helping me for a bit with Hi-Def television sets as I almost bought a TV at will. I run into my little buddy Roxy and we end up talking it up for a good 30 or so, it was a pretty deep conversation and we always end up talking about something crazy. We both kinda had the same scenario, so it was relative to my specific topic. Her opinions meant a lot to me....... Elizabeth texts me something that I didnt understand so I called her and asked what was up and she said she was watching me on TV, and I'm like "WTF?" She starts giggling and was like "BJ Penn is on UFC Unleashed and he is beating the shyt out of a bunch of people". So funny, ever since the TUF season has started, I been getting calls out of the blue. How flattering. Hey Mae, I read your comment, lemme say "You're welcome!"

Out of the blue, Claire, Lin Lin's best friend and a family friend of ours appears out of nowhere at my parent's house. Its been like since November since we last chilled, nah mean? Claire and I end up shotting pool in Jewel Lake for about 2 hours. Afterwards, we drove around all over the place just catching up on shyt and talking the good times.

Today is Wednsday, which will be the start of my little weight cutting program. My personal goal is by next week, I will have lost over 10+ lbs by using the system flush and other supplements that my bro Dustin hooked me up with. Thanks by the way Mr. Hendricks.

April 16th

2007-04-17T00:42:00.000-08:00

Son of a bitch! I've got this huge fucking headache that is pretty excruciating and shyt. Pardon my French, I love to speak my mind out and in. Monday was a pretty busy ass day, I had to get some paperwork done, which in other words, get my damn income taxes over with..... I had to go to my parent's house to help my dad with transporting a defective toilet system. It was replaced with a pretty nice one. Shyt, today is the 17th, two more days til I have relatives coming over, and I'm losing my mind as my dad and mom is wanting to bust out a good impression. From what I know, I have three grand aunts, one being a journalist and the other two being doctors in general practice in some kind of surgical skill, and two uncles one being an engineer and the other running some nursing home with my aunt. This is crazy, as this is my dad's side of the family coming to visit their nephew and brother. They're really cool, but my only gripe is the journalist as she was a former nun who has really high values and all, I can only imagine how she will react when she sees I'm inked. After all, it has been a long time since we crossed paths. Hmmm, knowing my dad, he'll be going all out, meaning Simon & Seaforts or some high end resteraunt. Good thing I'm not working for the moment, coz I'll be dining out as well. hehe..... My dad told me a couple of his friends are wondering when I'll be opening up for the season to detail cars. Shyt, I told my dad to let them know I'm available NOW! Time to see the money pouring in, baby!..... For some reason, I have been getting sick pretty easily, and usually, my system is immune to a lot of it. Yeah, as of this typing, I have a cold, and its making me pretty annoyed. I was feeling good enough to train to say the least. When my ass arrived, my instructor would not allow me to train. lol To make things worse, I won't be able to go to the seminar because of other commitments. When it was time to warm up, there I was just sitting on the chair while Todd is poking fun at me in front of everybody. "Hey, if anybody hasn't said shyt to Harold yet about not being on the mat, call him a fucking pussy!" then the class yells out "PUSSY!" I then rubbed my nuts and pretended I was sprinkling my semen at them....... After class, I went to Wal-Mart to see Mae as always. She ended up of needing a ride to her crib to wake up her hubby then I proceed to drop her off back to work and went home to watch a couple of BJ Penn videos, as always...... I head downstairs back home and my uncle was offering my $300 for my N93, I said fuck that I wanted at least $350. I ended up of placing my knee on his belly and from there we start rolling on the floor since he has a judo background, I end up working for positions and in the end, I caught him in a keylock sub. hahaha God damn judokas....... I end up picking up Mae from work since her hubby never showed up and I took her home. We been kicking it a lot, and its been cool....... I wonder how Echidna is doing, I think I'll call her sometime this week and have her sing to me again. Its been four months since we seen or heard from each other and its about time there's some kind of contact. Obviously, I miss her Just like I miss....Before I put my thing down, I just wanna bow my head for a minute to say a little prayer for all the students and faculty members who were killed earlier at Virgina Tech at the school massacre. That was insane, and shyt, anything can happen anywhere....... Well, time to take my damn medicine for my cold then I'm finna hit the shower. Alright folks, one love.

What Up Wid It?

2007-04-15T11:02:00.001-08:00

*yawns* My ass just woke up not too long ago, but hey, today is Sunday which is the pre-beggining of the week. Anyways, as a lot of you see this, this is my my new blog domain, plus I think this is more well-organized than MySpace and all, so for on now, all my blogs will go here. What's awesome is people out of the blue can comment my blogs. I've placed all my recent posts from MySpace onto here to make it much easier for some people....... Anyways, this week is basically going to be the same thing, just training jiu jitsu, but MMA is pending as I'm waiting for my right thumb to heal. Last week, I was rolling on the mat and I placed my right thumb with the tip on the mat for a second and next thing you know, my buddy rolls over it with all his weight and it snaps back. It wasn't bone, but more like the tendon attachment. The moment it happened, oh my god, it was such excruciating pain, I would have rather been kicked in the nuts. The first 3 days was a bitch, but with proper taping methods, I'm all good, sorta...... I recently got promoted a third stripe on my white belt, I basically have one more to go then I'm taking taking Ryder's blue belt. I think deep in my mind, the main reason I'm taking a break from work is so I can show up to class consistently and absorb what I see and put it to use. I really want Ryder's blue belt as there is some serious meaning behind it. Only time will tell. I know as of now that on the mat, I have inconsistencies, like on some days, I come in real pumped and basically do what I want to do, then there are days where I just lay there looking like I gave up when I'm defending and stale mating. To my instructor, what I need to work on the most is basically fighting til the end, as in if I'm stuck in the bottom, I better get the fuck out. I also need aggressiveness turned up and more on a regular basis. If there is one thing I want to incorporate in my day, I would like to start doing yoga, for like a year or something, just so I could release tension and build some serious flexibility.......... Okay, enough talk about BJJ..... Lastnight, I arrived to Platinum Jax (bar/club) with my best friend and his cousin. As always, I make the fashionably late entrance, maybe a little later than usual. It was tight, it felt like a Jay-Z video as I was pulling out the rocafella look. Underneath my button, I rocked a hilarious message shirt that got a lot of women chuckling. I wish I would have came earlier, as my buddy Blitz has been dying to want to hang with me in the bar/club, since he's heard of the way I am when it comes to partying. We were supposed to paint the city red. haha Its going to be re-done next saturday, because I wasn't drunk or wasted lastnight. I ran into a lot of people as well, showed some love and recieved loved in return. I got like two dances with old friends. After the club was bar breaking I ended up of being the designated driver for my close friend Jerry and Jacelyn. ROTFLMAO Jerry was drunk, but he wasn't wasted, and he had that mentality where he just didn't give a shyt, it was fucking hilarious. After he opens the door for JC he goes the other side and as I'm about to get in the driver's seat, his ass gets into a fighting stance looking like he's going to shoot for a single leg but then he starts throwing punches in the air all over the place and keeps pushing it with me, at a point, I thought he was going to hit me then take me down, next thing you know, we're going at it so I attempted to guillotine Jerry while he defends and tries to shoot in for a single leg take down, as my ass is defending I could have easily done some crazy judo throw on him as I had a foot hooking onto him, next thing you know, an officer is driving and stops in the middle of the intersection turns his lights and sirens out. I was like "Oh shyt........" While Jerry was still going at it and was laughing. I was too, until I got a clear view of the officer. Small world as it was officer Singh, the man who gave me a $350 ticket for running a red, the man who arressted me and threw me in the back but later let me go because I was chasing a couple of Crips who snitched me out, the man who made me stand in front of my cousin's car in zero degree weather with my hands up for 30 or so minutes because me and a group was hanging out in a parking lot, the man who pulled a gun out to my face at a short range because I was packing heat........ Damn, then this. As he puts the flashlight to my face, I knew he recognized me, we both smiled and he let us off since I stated we were just fucking around. Thank God. Okay, to a technicality, to end a little argument, Jerry may have had my leg, and was defending my choke, but I would have Koshi-Goruma judo throwed his ass. hehe We end up heading out to Denny's, which is like the weekend norm. I love Denny's on weekends, because crazy people show up, and lastnight or this morning wasn't an exception. These two emo dudes end up gettin pissed because they didn't have any attention and one of them start kicking the chairs down having a fit then grabs salt and starts pouring it over his shoulder. After being outside, he throws a saltshaker at the window. Weird shyt, but then again, they're emo. Ravaun and Kya meet up with us and chill. I had the usual Country Fried Steak dinner meal. Yum....... Shyt, if there is such thing as being materialistically weak, then it would be the fact that I go thru cell phones like nurses who change their patients underwear. Last November, I purchased a Nokia N93 smartphone at $625. It is April and sometime this week, I'm going to be recieving a white Blackberry Pearl 8100. I think I'll be the only one in town with a white one, coz that is how I do. It ended up of costing me $350. My Nokia is out on the market to folks for an amount that is negotiable. So far, one of my homies got dibs. I almost went for an LG Shine, but bad reviews. This Blackberry will last me a few months or so as I'm seeking to get the Apple iPhone. Maybe....... I talked to a friend and I'm seriously thinking about getting a business licsence and "re-open" my little car detail dealie aka Wet Worx Unlimited. On the side during the sunny season, I would detail (exterior/interior/engine bay) a lot of cars in front of my house for a very pretty penny as I pay full attention to detail as I have an eye for things like that. I was actually banking in. hehe ........ Before I end this, I'm going to state that in the coming weeks, something big is going to happen. One love.

April 6th

2007-04-06T01:06:00.001-08:00

Man, oh man, Its been a wild and crazy time of the moment, its like, everything good and bad is gunning for me. I think it is awesome, actually. Anyways, early in the morning at 10am or so on Thursday, I get a phone call from San Jose, which happened to be my telephonic interview with a company called Namco. The interview went on for a good 30 minutes and it was pretty cool. I was stoked as the position that I'm trying to get into is beta tester, which means basically I will be sitting down in front of a high-deffy TV playing an unfinished product / video game to see what needs to be fixed and all types of other shyt. I was asked "Why do you feel you should be a tester?" I simply answered with "Well, sir, I've been a gamer since I was like 7 or so. I have some serious skills with certain genres and I feel my personal inputs would be beneficial to the company." ...... I had to be convincing and as serious. My cousin called me thereafter asking how things went and all. Overall, I felt good, since my ass woke up at about 8am just thinking about this and other things.... Yesterday, I was planning on going to Alyeska to ride and last minute, 3 people had changes of plan, so all in all, I left by myself. The trip went from moderate to really fucking windy to a point where when I was hitting 90's I was swerving like I was about to crash, I was taking it "easy" as I was driving an SUV. I finally arrive in Girdwood and it was raining and windy up the ying yang. That made things more exciting for me. I head over to the box office and they tell me that they had reduced rates because a lot of spots were closed due to the weather. Before I bought my ticket, it just occurred in the back of my mind that I forgot to bring my damn snowboard leash! It was required, and I wasn't willing to drop $20+ on a damn leash. I guess that day was not meant to happen, since I ended up of going myself and no personal enjoyment on the slope. Shytty. I head back into town and ended up of going to Dimond Center, since my little sister was there to watch some movie. Just to kill time, I'm all walking around all over the place and at the same time thinking to myself "What the fuck is up?" ......... Anyways, they say things happen for a reason and the other day I went into an establishment running into someone I've seen somewhere and they don't know me. The next day, which was Thursday, I run into them again at Dimond Center, have a conversation and come to find out, I found out some things I did not want to know or should have heard for the simple fact that I was going to say some "interesting" things out of my mouth until this shyt had occurred. Damn. I must ask, what the hell is the reason behind this, in terms of "Things for a reason". Is God telling me something? Prior to Thursday, after that visit in the establishment, I had a mental image all day. Crazy shyt. I shall say no more on this particular subject until further notice or until I get some sweet substantiality....I ended up going home taking a nap then waking up just in time to see the first episode of The Ultimate Fighter Season 5. As you know, BJ Penn is an idol, so of course I will be glued to the TV. It was hella funny when BJ was choosing and he asked everybody to raise their hands as in who wants to be on BJ's team, majority of people raised their hands, which was no surprise, since BJ isn't one-dimensional and is the one out of the two coaches that will be remembered. It ended up of almost getting out of hand until Dana White said to shut the fuck up a couple of times. Overall, it was a good episode....... Last week, I got to talk to my aunt, and in the conversation, she stated that I am more than welcome to come to California and live there once more. I've stated that I don't know and more likely I will not. But it is in the air. I want to go, because I know what kinds of things I would be pulling off and it would be kind of a fresh start again. I would still be training jiu jitsu and MMA of course, but shyt, the commute to a great facility would be lengthy and there are a lot of good schools, and on top of things, the price would be much vast to what I'm paying now. What is keeping me here is a multitude of things. Echidna Allenece, the love of my life. I may not see her on a regular, but she is in my heart more than anything and in the near future, I should be seeing her a lot more than now. Secondly, Anchorage Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. There are very few BJJ schools that are truly about quality and not quantity, and to call it a team would be an understatement, more like a family. You dont have many schools where you bump some gangsta rap music while training and you dont see many people cursing and talking a lot of playful shyt like we do. I would miss that a lot. Thirdly, I have close people here that are important to me in my life, as in friends. In reality, outside of the gym, I have few friends that are truly loyal and honest whereas everybody else is just an associate that I'm associating with. As far as anything else goes, yeah, there is another reason that I don't have to go into detail about, as someone knows what I am talking about. ;-) ..... We'll see what happens and with my mind, heart, soul, and the help of whomever is upstairs, I will be lead into places and meet personal goals and criteria. You know, certain things may be sketchy at the moment, but deep down I know that certain things will come back into place sometime in the future. When that time comes, I will be rocking a cape with an "S" on my chest. Am I willing to take the risk? You damn right I am. ;-) And if anything bad were to happen, I'm going to regulate on a mother fucker. Watch it bitch..... Back to the Namco job. If I end up getting it, I would be in the Bay and it would be a no-brainer as to what academy I would be training at. Of course I would train at American Kickboxing Academy with my associate Dave Camarillo. It would be the shyt.

Digging Deep, Not Giving Up, Standing Up In What You Believe In, & Not Giving A Shyt

2007-03-27T02:19:00.000-08:00

Salutations to all my fellow viewers that are reading what I have to say. My specific subjective topic for the night is about digging deep into the heart and soul, not giving up, and being able to stand up and to fight for what you believe in to your family, in what is right and not giving a shyt what people say or think about YOU. I'm going to break this down in multiple case points to get my point across and my personal insight.

Today, as in whole, I went and experienced things and also gave my personal opinions of what I truly feel is right and what is wrong in a certain situation. All in all, I felt great and had a great day. I'm going to give several examples in my experiences. ;-) Earlier today, I demonstrated an attempt of what kind of "to the heart" person I am, as in get an adrenaline rush and jump off a balcony. Before anybody thinks anything, yes, I have jumped off roofs many times because I'm an adrenaline junkie and live for the moment. Crazy, sure. Anyways, before I was about to attempt this feat, I knew inside that I could pull it off at three stories for the fact that there was snow to pad my landing. Me personally, I have a fear of heights, but I overcome certain things by going for it, and in the end result, I get pumped. Why was I going to do it? Because something was questioning my true feelings, but deep down I knew something knew that my feelings were real and if something really was being true to me, then that something would have came at me, which it did.

Ya know, earlier tonight, I had to do what I preached to something, in other words, I tested my heart and had to dig deep. After BJJ, I went ahead and did the MMA class and the warm up was pretty turned up a bit. It was so intense, man, but it was fucking good. I had to push my self and my pride kicked in because I did not wanna look like some fuck up towards my coach, since my heart and determination has been questioned in the past. We did a lot of cardio and all, and when it was almost over, that was when I really had to push myself past my personal limits. My coach was motivating me, and even if I was going slow at times, I still forced myself to fucking go. After all was done, I felt so light headed and literally looked like I was going to die. My friend Jerry looked at me and smiled when I was laying there, because deep inside his mind, he wanted me to dig deep. I said in a normal tone "I would rather die than give up" , and yeah, I was willing to die tonight if the circumstances were to happen, because whatever happens, happens in life. I continued on..... Last Friday, it was no-gi class and there was a point that I ended up of rolling/sparring with Ryder. Of course, I got my ass handed to me like a mother fucker, and in actuality, it was the shyt, because in turn, I turn around and get pumped up after so. Anyways, I kept getting my ass kicked, but afterwards I'd immedietly get back up and go again. The moral of what I'm saying, specifically to something is that in life, sometimes you've got to dig deep and not give up whatsoever at all costs. Whether it be in competition, in pursuit of happiness, or whatever there is in life.

There was a time in my life that I had to stand up and fight for in what I believed in. A while back, like in my teenage years, I bought my first snowboard. When my mother seen what I had, she wasn't happy with my decision to go out and ride, let alone, live for the moment and be extreme. We argued about snowboarding because she thought it was really dangerous and that it was only for white people to do. Of course it was funny, but the situation escalated and it got to where a lot of the older people in my family was against it and scared for me. I had to call minority friends up to swing thru and explain to my mom about snowboarding. At this time, I stood with my own two feet and debated and basically fought for what I believed in, which was for me, my mother's son, to go out and ride on the mountain. I wasn't going to be looked down on about this, and through thick and thin, I went thru and did my thing in the end. After awhile, my family had an understanding that what I was doing made me happy. As for the moral of this personal statement to something is that in life, you're going to be dealing with tough decisions and you're going to be wanting to do something that people don't approve of, well, it is YOUR decision and you are in control of YOUR life, not them. And you know, they say that "blood is thicker than water", well, sure it is, but in the long run, they'll understand why and show their love and support thru thick and thin of things.

There were and still are times that people say so and so and think so and so of me. Honestly, I don't care, nobody is perfect, and I'm only human. The thing is, a lot of these people don't know me and just jump into conclusion right away, based upon appearances and other stuff. It's all good, because anybody is entitled to think what they want to think, even when they don't know the case. In other words, fuck what they say and fuck what they think, they don't know me and they don't know what I'm going/gone thru.

Before I end this, I've got one last thing for something. When I used to work at Starbuck's at the airport, I met a lot of people from other places. One thing that comes to mind was when I was having an interesting conversation with a customer, for some odd reason, he was talking about fear and how to overcome shyt, and since then, I've kind of looked at it as a reminder that I'm a risk taker in life that does not regret anything, because life is so damn short to even worry and regret. Here is how it went...... "This criminal had committed a crime and he was sent to the king for his punishment. The king told him he had a choice. He could be hung by a rope or take the punishment behind the big dark scary steel door. The criminal quickly decided on the rope. As the noose was being slipped on him, he asked, "Out of curiosity, what's behind that door?" The king laughed and said, "You know, it's funny, I offer all you guys the same choice, and nearly all of you pick the rope." "So," said the criminal, "what's behind the door? Obviously, I won't tell anyone," he said, pointing to the noose around his neck. The king paused then answered, "Freedom, but it seems most people are so afraid of the unknown that they immediately take the rope." ........ All too often fear stops you from going where you need or want to go, that includes happiness. Think about it. ;-)

One love.

My Sweet Valentines Day Disaster

2007-02-14T17:55:00.000-09:00
On the 14th of February, well, actually, more like the 15th as it was midnight and all, an interesting turn of events happened. Around midnight I went to meet up with my Valentine's date and the other Valentines couple. We played pool for about 90 minutes or so then end up eating out at an open pizza joint. Afterwards, my date and I end up being dropped off to our cars and from there we ride along together in her SUV. We're trying to decide a spot to park and chill for a bit. I decide that there is a spot and it would turn out to be a park that is down the street from my mainstay. As we enter, coincidently, we run into the other couple we were with awhile ago. LOL we turn around and dip out and drive some more and drive up into this newly developed neighborhood. We end up parking into a snowbank with the confidence since we had four-wheel drive. For a couple of hours, we're doing our thing. After it was time to go, as we're trying to get out, we end up getting stuck in the spot with limited range to go back and forth. I get out and try to shovel out and shyt, but to no avail, nothing. This lady who was on her balcony yells out to me if we needed help, of course I'm going to say yeah. She comes out and helps me push out as my date is trying to back up, but still nothing. As we're trying to push, she says "I sure hope it was worth it" I go "Hell yes" with a smile. They switch places and my date is all sexy-fied at the wrong time as she was wearing a slit dress and boots helping me push. After a bit more shoveling, we managed to get the SUV out, of course it was a celebration type of moment. The lady was awesome, no doubt. So that's that, right? Wrong. I was on the phone talking to a buddy and my date was driving out. Not even 300 feet or so she ends up crashing into a ditch. hahaha It was nicely stuck up to this point and there was no way getting out. Several minutes later a neighbor comes out with his truck and helps try to push it out and tries to tow it, but it wasn't enough whatsoever, you know what I mean? Minutes after that, a tow truck driver pulls into the street and comes out and asks if we needed help and we both stated we didn't have enough money to cover anything and he stated "I asked if you needed help, not any money or anything". Right on. He was there because he was picking up the owner of the tow truck company which happened to be the house we were kind of stuck in front of. lol Anyways, the dude with the lil truck backs away and the tow guy gets in his truck and decides to drive past us to get around and face the other direction, well, that didn't work because as he's driving past us, he ends up of falling into a ditch as well and is so stuck like a fly on fly paper. He gets out and tries to use the hydraulic lift to get him out but that was not going to work because of the angle. Now, this wouldn't be a big deal, but it was as the road we were both stuck on was one way in and one way outt. Its around 7am or so and there are about 5-6 cars behind that I'm sure were going to head out to go to work. OMG The owner/boss of the tow driver is finally all ready and heads out to his towing establishment. This was about 10 minutes. In between that time, the dude with the little truck is trying to tow us from behind as he, too, was getting late for work. Anyways, the owner finally arrives with a tow truck and tries to get the other tow truck out, and since it was such a bitch to do so, after about 20 minutes trying that, he finally decides to get us out, and finally we are out! Hell yes. This whole fiasco reminded me of the movie "Crash" because it was a series of events after another and so forth. Ask me, was it worth it? I thought it was funny, an interesting experience and yeah, it was all worth it. ;-)